When they say comics are for kiddos, I say, grow Up. 300 is definitely not for the Kids. When Frank Miller's "Dark Knight" series of Batman Adaptation hit stores almost 20 years ago, the whole theory of comics aiming at low brow entertainment got changed. It is 2007, and a whole new school of film making replicates the visual spectacle of Frank Miller's Graphic Novel "300" and WHAT A SPECTACLE it is indeed. Distilled to its essence, it is a graphic novel come to life on the celluloid-page by page, frame by frame.
The Story: Its 480 BC, and Spartan King Leonidas is faced with the problem: 200,000 Persians approaching Greece led by King Xerxes. Leonidas cannot submit to Xerxes' reign as a true free person and as a true Spartan King. The Spartan council is reluctant to send the entire army, since their oracle has informed them that they can’t win. Leonidas however, manages to "go for a stroll" with his bodyguards comprising of "300" handpicked Spartans and marches to the coast to meet the invaders. His plan is to force the Persian's in the narrow bottleneck known as the Hot Gates, thus stalling their advance, until his wife can plead in front of the council to send the entire army.
But well, enough being said of the story , we are here for what we are here--Testosterone Explosivo. A feast for the eyes, OTT( Over the Top) Hyperviolence, and Never Before Seen Beheadings in Leisurely SloMo with Blood Spilling all over the (Blue)Screen.Those 90 minutes are the best 90 minutes I ever had at the movies so far, which I probably had the last time when I saw Neo dodge a bullet from the Agents. So it doesn't matter to me if Zack Snyder's adaptation of the Battle of Thermopylae is set against racing Heavy Metal Music, or critics crying out ," 300 dazzles as spectacle, but as history it's dodgy". Leave that out. I have my eyes laid upon the roaring action, the Blue and the Green Screen, the bronze tinted Six Packs, the Blood Spilling and the Bling Bling of Xerxes. I clap when Leonidas shouts " SpaaarTannnz!!!!!!", and I jump out of the chair when a head falls. The spears flying, the arrows piercing the skin,the dark faced Immortals, the monster creatures, and an inflated "Gollum",300 has them all. Its like LOTR once again, this time on STEROIDS.So what, if it does not have the mythology of Tolkien to support, and has the Graphic Gore of Miller instead. 300 shines for me more than Xerxes' ornaments.Prepare your eyes from popping out from their sockets in the face of such SuperEnergized Visuals. Well, my friends at cinematical.com have a few words to say..

If Gladiator and Sin City had a baby, it'd look a whole lot like Zack Snyder's 300. Visually arresting and wildly cut together, 300 is (despite its well-earned R-rating) precisely the kind of movie that turns 14-year-old boys into ravenous movie geeks.

And I am dying in anticipation for its DVD release. Because for me then, I shall have the power, the power of the Remote , to rewind the bloodbath spectacle of Snyder. Haaaauuuuuu!!!!!!!!

SpaaaarTaaaNNZZZ!!!!! Enjoy your Breakfast. Tonite !!! We dine in Hell!!!!!!!!!!

5 Spears out of 5 Spears, Bang on Xerxes' Eye....

A movie which begins with the lines " A long ass fucking time ago..." is defintely supposed to rock hard ,isn't it? And yes it does. " Coz its the Pick of Destiny's Child,you know I will be rockin' cause it's fucking insane! And doth we know, that it is indeed fucking INSANE. Coz, its the D which comes alive with its powerful Rock and kills the Devil, and also pay their rent side by side.

For the uninitiated, Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny stars Jack Black as JB or Jables and Kyle Gass as KG or Kage , and is the story( more or less a chronicling of events ) of how the band Tenacious D was formed (more real than ever, in the words of JB) and how they become , the self-proclaimed "Greatest Band in the World".

The movie is a treat for all the D fans, but for those who haven't been so aware of their music or their HBO Television shows, it shouldn't be an obstacle for you from enjoying the movie, and also enjoying the great lyrics of the Soundtrack, right from the intro of "young JB" in Kickapoo which goes something like..

A long ass fuckin' time ago,
In a town called Kickapoo,
There lived a
humble family
Religious through and through.
But yay there was a black
sheep
And he knew just what to do.
His name was young J.B. and he
refused to step in-line.
A vision he did see-eth
Fuckin' rockin' all the
time.
He wrote a tasty jam and all the planets did align

Young JB is outrageously hilarious perfectly imitating Black's ecstasies of stagecraft and communing with the spirit of Ronnie James Dio. He runs away from home for his quest to form the world's most awesome band and he arrives at Hollywood . At Venice Beach, he meets Kage ,his Partner in Crime, Kyle Gass aka Rage Kage 5000.
Special mention: Classico. The song, featured in the movie, is an exploration of classical guitar music in aid of proving Kyle Gass's musical powers to Jack Black. In it, Gass plays sections from Bach's Bourrée in E minor (from Suite in E minor, BWV 996), Für Elise by Beethoven and Eine Kleine Nachtmusik by Mozart. Jack sings along harmoniously to Gass's guitar playing and thus proves to Lee, that Tenacious D is a viable band.(Source: wikipedia.com). And well, JB's powerful (is that the word) lyrics..

Can’t you see he’s the man, let me hear
you applaud
he is more than a man he's a shiny golden god.

If you
think its time to fucking rock, and fucking roll, out of control,
and then
you know you got to rock the block,
and fucking suck my fucking cock,
'cause when you rule, you fucking school all of the fools, out of their
jewels,
'cause if you think it’s time,
if you think it’s time,
if
you think it’s time to fucking rock.

He is going to kick your fucking
ass,
and you know his name is Kyle Gass,
rocking and fucking rolling,
and fucking rocking,
and fucking rolling

I have been quite unfamiliar with the work of Deepa Mehta except for a few scenes of 1947:Earth and Bollywood/Hollywood. Well, before writing anything about the movie, I must say, it takes a hell lot of determination in completing a movie like Water which has been through so many obstacles and had run into so much troubled"water" itself. Splashed across the media for the wrong reasons,Deepa Mehta , after her first two movies in her elements trilogy, was being attacked for her third feature,Water when the shooting began in Banaras. She had to pack up everything and also face the burden of actors backing out. She was forced to return to Canada and well, she made a romantic comedy, Bollywood/Hollywood in between with Lisa Ray and Rahul Khanna in the lead. But Water needed to be made: it was a story needed to be told. Productions began in SriLanka, a compromised setting but nevertheless, Deepa Mehta succeeds in bringing the story to celluloid, or rather celluloid.

As the reels begin to roll, we witness the 8 year old Chuiya (Sarala) who has been widowed and is forcibly sent to the Vidhwa Aashram headed by the fat old Madhoo Didi(Manorama). The charm of young Chuiya and her mother-like relation with Shakuntala( Seema Biswas) and a sister-like relation with Kalyani (Lisa Ray) is what forms the core of the movie. Kalyani falls for Narayan(John Abraham), a tall, handsome, foreign-educated follower of Gandhi. But I think, the film could have done without it. The story of Kalyani remains very blurred in depiction as characters hardly talk and mostly because Lisa Ray's beauty becomes more of an obstruction to me, from sympathising or may be relating with the character( Critics say she is the most gorgeous widow to have graced the Indian celluloid ever). Seema Biswas is a wonderful actor and she brings in the angst,anxiety and desperation to full light and her efforts to rescue Chuiya ,is the only saving grace from the not-so-impressive climax. Rahman's music succeeds in bringing the effect of rain and the feel of drops on your skin with "Aayo re"(my favourite soundtrack in the movie).

You take home lots of questions and also lots of unanswered smiles. Especially, when Buaa keeps asking for Ladoos and Mithaee. Joyous moments when you smile at Kalyani and Chuiya clapping as it rains outdoors and when the entire Ashram gets colored up at Holi with "Shyam Rang " in Richa Sharma's voice plays along.

All in all, a must see for all who have been waiting for so long to lay their eyes on something really meaningful. Cinematically, it can't be called a masterpiece. But this is a movie which transcends all critic rating systems and box office figures. I conclude with something written by famous Movie Critic Roger Ebert(www.rogerebert.com)
"That a film like "Water" still has the power to offend in the year 2006 inspires the question: Who is still offended, and why, and what have they to gain, and what do they fear?"


Next up: 300

Apocalypto is as thrilling as any adventure movie can get. It is a perfect display of the powerful story-telling expertise of Mel Gibson. Though it brings to me a traumatic flashback of a 1980's controversial exploitation feature called Cannibal Holocaust, Apocalypto triumphs in bringing in the human element and rise above the graphic gore , a feat Mr.Gibson is often associated with(post or pre Passion of the Christ).

Although the narrative has a myth-like simplicity, it doesn’t feel overextended at 138 minutes, thanks to Gibson’s ability to establish characters quickly and shape each scene in a way that creates a headlong momentum.

All the actors are unknowns, but they’re so consistently strong that they may not remain that way for long. Rudy Youngblood, a 25-year-old Native American who plays the hero, Jaguar Paw, has piercing eyes and a remarkable presence. When he’s kidnapped by another tribe, and his son and pregnant wife hide out underground, he promises he’ll return to save them. We have no reason to doubt his pledge.

Helping to establish Jaguar’s authority is a Cassandra figure, a diseased child who condemns the kidnappers with a series of ominous warnings. When they’re fulfilled, Jaguar is saved from human sacrifice, and he leads his tormentors on a merry chase that’s reminiscent of “The Naked Prey” as well as Br’er Rabbit’s tricky Briar Patch.

Gibson and his first-time co-writer, Farhad Safinia, have come up with their own vision of 15th-Century Mayan civilization, which may or may not have anything to do with historical fact, and hence many critics and anthropologists have left no stones unturned in accusing them of historical inaccuracies.

For the most part, the setting is used as the background for a series of close calls and daring feats that suggest Saturday-matinee cliffhangers rather than a serious attempt to recreate a dying Mayan culture.

The actors speak Yucatec Maya, which is translated into English subtitles that can be jarringly modern. “Move it” sounds a little odd in this context, and so does one hilarious profanity. But so little of “Apocalypto” relies on dialogue that Gibson ends up using a lot of silent-film shorthand to tell his story.

The cinematographer is the Australian Dean Semler, who won an Oscar for “Dances With Wolves” and this time uses a handheld camera to tear through the jungle in a way that’s just short of dizzying. Whenever you think he’s gone too far, he pulls back and gives you breathing space. The same could be said of Gibson’s direction, which has never seemed this smooth before.

From breathtaking visuals of Waterfalls and fast chases in the jungle,to underwater plunges and oh so bloody hearts teared upon, Apocalypto is definitely not for the weak-hearted.

My Rating:3.5 on 5

I have been bloggin' a lot about movies. For once, lemme grab my armchair and just relax and view the spectacle , that is Frank Miller's Sin City. A week before the worldwide release of the next Frank Miller adaptation 300, I give you ladies and gentlemen, Sin City. Enjoy.


Sin City is a bustling, violent metropolis where the police department is as corrupt as the streets are deadly. In this movie, we follow three stories, the central of which involves Marv, a tough-as-nails and nearly indestructible street fighter who goes on a rampage of vengeance when he falls for a beautiful woman who is killed while lying in bed with him at her side.

Starring: Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Benicio Del Toro, Clive Owen, Elijah Wood...
Directed by: Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller
Produced by: Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller, Elizabeth Avellan

If you ask me, did I like Dhoom 2, well my answer would be ahem! NO. I did not.
I did like the kiss though, I did like the Bikes, the chase scenes, and Hrithik and Rio , but there was so much to dislike . From Strategic " in-your-face" Product placements [In the 90 minutes before the Interval, I counted ten: (1) the Sony screen in the police briefing room, (2) the Sony VAIO laptop Hrithik uses in Bombay, (3) a Coca Cola can on a desk, (4) the BURP! truck for the stakeout, (5) Sony monitors in the security room, (6) jewels of the Taj (hotels), (7) Winch 6000, (8) Cinemax cinemas, (9) Cars, the animated film, and (10) Sugar Free Natura. And I’m sure I’ve missed a few.], to the boring storyline of a very intelligent Thief on the Run, does it hit any lower.

So what if the movie boasts of better visuals, better song chodeography, better costumes, the movie still is just ....eh! I don't care to find a word. Couple of things haven't actually changed though since the first movie. Uday Chopra is still as irritating as Ali in the first movie , irrespective of the color of Bandana he wears,Pritam's music is yet again been inspired from a Middle East melody, and Coke is still the Official Drink of the movie. Life ho to Aisi!!

Cheers!!

I cannot believe that this is the same team which made Hera Pheri.
I cannot believe that I went to see this movie.
I cannot believe that I survived after watching it.
I cannot believe that I did not puke even once.
I cannot believe that I am blogging on this crap by Priyadarshan.
An appeal to CBFC, can we please in the interest of National Security, ban Mr. Priyadarshan from shitting on the Celluloid with his undigested crap . Puhleeez!!!!

This is Bond...at its best. Doesn't matter if people kill me for saying this, because finally I get to see Bond using his license to kill. So even if critics or Bond fanatics may still go gaga about Sean Connery or Mr. Brosnan being the best Bond ever with their suavity and panache, Daniel Craig's rugged Bond portrayal leaves Ethan Hunt miles behind screaming for attention, and Jason Bourne seems like a wannabe. Right from the word go, it is out there. If you have come expecting a jaw dropping spectacular Opening Scene for a new introducing Bond( like Brosnan's unforgettable Bungee Jump in Golden Eye), well you might be disappointed with the opening 5 minutes of Black and White Rumble. If you are expecting over-the-top gadgets and "Listen Carefully Bond" Sessions from Q, this doesn't have that either. But the movie more than makes up for these two voids,or rather say 'Bond' voids. Because the movie doesn't need them , neither does Bond. If you are expecting Sultry Bond Girls in yellow bikinis, wake up. Eva Green isn't the normal skin show Bond Girl . She is the first Bond "Woman", if I may say so.

But then, with all things said and done,it all comes down to one thing and that is--Daniel Craig is the man. He doesn't have the raw star quality of Connery, but he's easily the best actor to have played the part. Add to that the gripping storyline. Craig is unlikeable but human and gradually picks up the Bond traits we know until he becomes more likable but just a little less human. It's an interesting journey and Craig is up to it. It's not just his delivery, it's also his body language. Even his fighting style changes as he adapts.The beauty about Daniel Craig is that he doesn't worry about being able to fit into the polished shoes of Brosnan and bring the sophistication of his predecessors. He does not even try to. And yet when we walk out of the theatre, we believe that Daniel Craig is James Bond. Right from the opening Act of the Brilliantly chodeographed Chase Scene in Madagascar to the Airport Explosion Scene, Casino Royale captivates you. But surprisingly, the most dramatic and exciting moments take place in relative stasis—around a poker table where the protagonists face off against each other, with millions of dollars and their very own reputations at stake , where the power of a piercing glance or the action of the gambling chip being placed on the table packs as much punch as that of a bullet from a silenced Beretta.

Casino Royale is a royal treat to the senses Its a must watch. See it to believe it.





P.S. Dhoom 2 releases next week, tch tch. Bad placement