In everyway possible, Ishaan of Taare Zameen Par (TZP) miraculously brings the mirror in front of me and makes me look back with nostalgia at the fond memories and even at some of the childhood dilemmas that I faced, along with the utter peer pressure which we have always been subjected to, right from Day 1 of School.The untied shoe laces, the uncombed hair, the shirts with the buttons out, and the free spirit crying and trying to let free from the shackles of the “conformity” and social compatibility. But then, this is not a personal confession, but the movie review (but a bit personal in a way) of TZP.
What makes TZP work for me is the very personal message that it carries of how children are exploited by their own parents by measuring them on the criteria of percentages and treating them as marks churning bots. Creativity and Arts are hardly encouraged enough and children face the grind of preparing for the Rat Race. TZP weaves this extremely sensitive message, which could actually fall flat as a niche topic appealing only to a handful, with a beautiful story of Ishaan Awasthi, a child suffering from dyslexia but with the gift of imagination and grabbing it into his world of crayons and wet brushes. Needless to say, Papa Awasthi is not pleased by the failure of young Ishaan at academics, given that his elder brother is a school topper. TZP spans across the imaginative world of Ishaan and his continuous struggle with the straitjacket of conformity. Subsequently he emerges triumphant with the help of his Fine Arts teacher Ram Shankar Nikumbh( Aamir Khan), and it is this journey of triumph of the honest and innocent spirit of a child which keeps our eyes glued to the screen and moistened throughout.
The opening credits remind me of the numerous stop animation shorts that we have literally grown on, and yet in a very effective way, help us to explore the imaginative world of Ishaan. The Saturn hoola-hoops, the flight to Pluto and sea horses gallop, the flight of imagination has no bounds and to put them down to celluloid is a feat in itself.
Ishaan’s imaginative universe replete with bright hues and splashed shades stirs the soul and yet keeps it real without going overboard. As in, we do not get to see any Picasso or Da Vinci , but we get to see a child prodigy’s crayon works which look like a child’s. That’s how real it is. But then, TZP, being a commercial movie, has its elements of “Bollywood” in Aamir’s intro scene as the musical Patch Adams meets Pied Piper with a playback of Shaan on Bum Bum Bole. The kids are surprisingly too musically correct, which in my case isn’t too real. Because I know, my 5th standard class wasn’t at all, by any stretch of imagination. But then, complaining about that would be just plain nitpicking.
TZP’s real spirit comes alive with its music, and vice versa. Shankar Ehsaan Loy have given soul to the body of this celluloid piece and in my opinion, this is their best work since Dil Chahta Hai. With Vishal creating the aura of the very Rock “Duniya Ka Naaraa….Jamey Raho” we sense the mechanical nature of today’s materialistic world, where early morning routines of the typical working class and their children finds accurate definition. And as Shankar enters with a classical twist to it with “ Yahaa Alag Andaaz hai…” we see little Ishaan waking up in his own pace. Instant Reaction:-the 9 inch smile-

Ye Waqt Ke Kabhi Ghulam Nahi, Inhe Kisi Baat ka Dhyaan Nahi, Titlee se Milne Jaate Hai, Ye Pedho se Batiyate Hai

( He is not a slave to time, He doesn’t care about anything, He goes to meet the butterflies, He talks to the Trees). One of my favorite on the soundtrack is the imaginative Mera Jahaan with Adnan Sami and cute,childish yet perfectly pitched Auriel and Ananya who remind me of Connie Talbot singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow. The falsetto rendition of “All I need is to be …..Freeeee….” just gives me goose bumps everytime I listen to it. And then the very relaxed and dew fresh vocals of Adnan take over the acoustic guitars in the background as he murmurs” Sapno ka buna…Sweater..”. Young Ishaan explores the streets of Mumbai all alone and yet, the song sings “ Akela Nahi Main, Khuli Aankho se Neend main chalta, Girta zyada,Kam Sambhalta “( I am not alone, I am walking in my sleep with my eyes wide open, I fall often and I am very less careful).

The First ace of the soundtrack however is Maa. Shankar Mahadevan is aged 40 plus, yet he miraculously blends the sentiments of an 8 year old in his vocals, and surprisingly enough for me, I started believing that it’s Ishaan crying out “Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin
Par Andhere Se Darta Hoon Main Maa » ( I never say it, But oh mother,I am scared of the dark). Even the coldest heart would melt down and for me, it was time to change the handkerchief. The title track “ Taare Zameen Par” shows why Prasoon Joshi is taking home all the awards next year for Best Lyricist. Innocent thoughts unadulterated by the cunning thoughts of adulthood, is what can describe the sheer sincerity of the lyrics. Take this –

Jaise Aankhon Ki Dibiya Mein Nindiya
Aur Nindiya Mein Meetha Sa Sapna
Aur Sapne Mein Mil Jaaye Farishta Sa Koi

(Like Sleep in the Box of the eyes, And a Sweet Dream in the Sleep, And in that Sleep, finding an Angel).
And then we have Raman Mahadevan taking control of the offbeat guitar strokes with “Kholo Kholo”. This is where Indian Rock just made its presence stronger in Bollywood Music. I so much love it, and I can’t stop my air-drumming. Even Ishaan’s theme set to the Youtube-ish Home video footage of kid Ishaan made me tears trickle down. Okay, I admit that I am weepy. So what?
As far as the performances go, I believe Aamir Khan is winning the award for the Best Supporting Actor. Because Darsheel Safary as Ishaan Awasthi spells magic and gives life to this character to such an extent, that we do not for even a moment get to think that a piece of filmed material is being screened. All the pranks, all the frustration, the anger, the wicked smiles, the fears and the tears are all so real, and noticeably without the “extra sugar coated” boy image that Bollywood movies are populated with. Aamir Khan, the director, or Aamir Khan, the actor. BOTH. You really know how to tell your story and dude, you’ve just outdone yourself.Give him all the awards, all the honors, and Darsheel you deserve a trip to Disneyland for this. Now where’s my third handkerfchief?

O Re Paakhi…O Re Paakhi resonates in my ears and as I sit down to write the review of Sudhir Mishra’s Khoya Khoya Chand, all that flashes into my eyes is the wet paint of the film sets, the halogen flood lights, the larger than life posters, and the filled theatre screenings of 1950’s -1960’s Bollywood, build perfectly to the last inch. Khoya Khoya Chand is sincere, honest and almost perfect in technique but unfortunately what starts off as story telling ends up being a history lesson. It is so much like a long lecture which started as being interesting and colorful, until the colors became repetitive and started blinding my eye. Of course, I’d stand up and applaud the technicians of the movie again and again throughout this review for making it almost feel like being seated in a Time Machine and getting deported to an era of the pot-bellied Producer getting bullied by the Superstars, the sleazy divas, the “favourable” Superstar, the struggling writer, the non-compliant industry-outsider director, the run of the mill dialogues and screenplay and the mom accompanied struggling wannabe. All of this and much more is taken care of perfectly and this is no small feat. What OSO (the other tribute to Bollywood movie, yeah the more commercial one) tried to attempt, Khoya Khoya Chand has achieved all of that and much more and it effortlessly makes us believe in Sudhir Mishra’s vision of the Black and White era of Indian Cinema.

Having said that definitely doesn’t necessarily mean that Khoya Khoya Chand is a gem of a film. Though it is accompanied by really strong performances by the main cast as well the supporting members, it fails on many accounts. The story narrates the story of a struggling actress, Nikhat (Soha Ali), who is awestruck by the glam and glitz of cinema. She willingly submits to the reigning superstar Prem Kumar (Rajet Kapoor) in return of her favours. Soon enough , she starts climbing up the ladders of success, until she realizes that she has been used when Prem announces his marriage. Nikhat finds solace in the arms of the aspiring writer, Zaffar(Shiney Ahuja). Zaffar reminds me of the villain of the same name in Disney’s Aladdin, yeah but he did not have any relationship issues, neither did he have any ego clashes. This Zaffar had all of them, including a troubled childhood resulting from a polygamist father and 3 stepmoms. The relationship between Zaffar and Nikhat goes through enough trying times, strenuous enough to make your head ache and force you to scream out “Stop you lady, and you, yes You Mr. Shut Up and listen to her for a sec”.The relationship itself is so confusing at times, and Nikhat as a person just leaves me gasping for more explanation. But then, Zaffar’s comeback and Nikhat’s sudden appreciation of him makes us feel that yeah, probably, the director has finally realized, “Okay , that’s enough indulgence for one film, its now time for a good climax “.
That’s when the climax song Thirak Thirak features in and the entire set, including the producer and the strict manager crack up, over a silly Ghungroo joke. WTF, I smiled out for no reason.

Shantanu Moitra scores an ace yet again with the soundtrack, and lemme tell you honesty, there are no mediocre tracks here. Just one ace after an ace, of course the Ace of Spades is O Re Paakhi by Sonu Nigam. Given the era of cinema depicted here, the soundtrack has an amazing jazz and blues element in it. Take for instance, the first track Ye Nigahein or the cabaret Khusboo Sa . Both are so very blues, so very intoxicating and both depict the smokes and mirrors of cinema effectively. The title track Khoya Khoya Chand features lyricist Swanand Kirkire rhyming lines to the backdrop of a 60’s rock n roll bass-line which ultimately finds climax in a beautiful qawwali. Shreya Ghosal is the next Alka Yagnik to say the least. I don’t need to say more, just close your eyes to Chale Aao and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Talking about the performances, I’ll begin with Saurav Shukla who actually ends up being the most memorable character in the entire movie. Perfect Punjabi flavored producer with the best of the lines. Sushmita Chatterjee appears in just a couple of scenes but makes her presence felt. Vinay Pathak as the narrator, and the strict manager of Nikhat is a complete waste of his potential. He could have done so much more, but has ended being just a sidekick in this movie, almost reminds me of his Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam days. Rajet Kapoor commands the screen with his “haraami” portrayal of superstar Prem Kumar. Sonya Jehan as the yesteryears’ diva is one of the highest points of the movie. She effortlessly makes you remind of Meena Kumari ,Madhubala, and Nadira. Shiney Ahuja must have taken his urdu lessons way too seriously and it starts to irritate a bit when it gets overboard. But it helps coz he is supposed to be from Lucknow. Nevertheless, he certainly delivers a wonderful performance as the grief stricken Zaffar searching for his eternal and internal peace. There is so much credibility in his tears and his anguish , how could Nikhat resist that? This is by far Soha Ali’s best performance as Nikhat, the ACTRESS which takes us down memory lane through the pages of Filmfare 1960’s . The pages flashing stories of the actress’ rise, romance, gossips, fall from glory and eventually finding retreat in alcohol. Soha plays the character with intense credibility, thanks to the costumes, the make up and hair stylist to have made it possible. Worth mentioning is the scene when she enters the bedroom of Zaffar while he is sleeping. She is so much like Sharmila Tagore . But yes, the best performance is by the cinematographer Sachin Krishnan who blends the perfect hues with the best of settings. Absolutely impeccable. Only if Mr.Sudhir Mishra could have woken from his indulgence a bit early in the second half, Khoya Khoya Chand could have resulted in being a memorable piece of cinema, which it has failed to be.
2 on 5. Top notch music though. I am still humming O Re Paakhi.

For all those curious ones, the story is about a rebellious Dancer (shockingly!) called Diya who leaves her hometown Shamli when she is forced to get married and flies off to NY and becomes an established choreographer. She returns back hearing of her Dance master’s illness and discovers that the stage where her dance was nurtured faces a demolition notice. Enter the MP(Akshaye Khanna) who challenges her that if she wants to prevent the demolition, she better put up a show with the entire cast from Shamli itself. Hence, the search begins for the characters and they all fit the part to the T. The cast of course has to be as mad and varied as it could be which reminds me of yet another “cast”ing movie which told a story of “Once Upon a Time in India”( It’s Lagaan you fools. Kuch nahi ho sakta tum morons ka). The audition scene just looks like a rip off from the RDB audition scene and well, I loved the original. Here, it is pretty much forgettable. Where’s Prasoon Joshi? The ensemble jigsaw starts to take shape with the entry of some colorful characters like Ranbir Shourie, Vinay Pathak, Konkona Sen, Sushmita Chatterjee( of Karamchand fame) and of course the unputdownable Raghubir Yadav. But yet again, another assumption strikes me .The title track( yeah, the one in the news for the wrong reasons) features blue chandeliers ( Mr. Mehta has a thing for them, including breaking them in ultra slo-mo), and blue screens and absolutely gorgeous sets put up in a course of a day. Am I questioning the power of Bollywood?

Moving on, of course the entire ensemble goes through a lot of other worries, as in fitting the chemistry between the lead pair, the dance training, the corrupt MP( Akhilendra Mishra, better known as Krur Singh ‘Yakku’ from Chandrakanta), the greedy businessman (Irrfan Khan) and the challenging MP who loves Pizzas apparently.But somehow, Madz manages to swoop in and put up a brilliant show, even when Laila’s Abba is picked up just minutes before the final show ( not even the final rehearsal and all). And OMFG, the final show is so perfectly lyrical, the music is top-notch, no one forgot their lines, everyone danced in sync( hey, where did these toned bodies with the 6 packs come from? ) and my oh my, the choreography and the lights blend and flow like the satin that hangs from Laila’s window. Who handled all of that? But of course, Madhuri, I mean Diya. She must have grown so much as a choreographer. If you can do with all of the above assumptions, (I did, partially) you’ll end up grooving to Aaja Nachle. And I think everyone in my auditorium resonated with that groove.

Talking about the soundtrack, the movie begins with Dance with Me, which instantly took me to Dil to Pagal Hai and the familiar Shiamak Davar danceroom. Only that,its Vaibhavi Merchant here who’s giving the cues. The intro song just makes the point that Madhuri cannot just only dance, but dance far better than anyone out there. A straight challenge. A few minutes later, she is dancing Kathak with her Ghungroos on to Rahat Fateh Ali Khan’s O Re Piya. This song is my favorite and well, I loved the Ghungroo sounds added to it (which is absent in the OST). The tile track Aaja Nach Le is just a forgettable number which you’d be repeatedly hearing on radios and Puja Pandals this year, because of the utterly predictable Bollywood spiced up sound in it. Nothing remarkable,except for the yummy choreography and Madhuri dancing to it.BTW, the so called “controversial” lyrics reported goes something like:-

( There is so much chaos in the society, Even the Cobbler calls himslef a Goldsmith). I really don’t get what is the fuss about. Moving on,the cast audition song Show me Your Jalwa is a typical Nautanki flavored song with the voices of Madhuri herself doing the narration and Richa Sharma and Kailash Kher displaying the power of their lungs with the powerful rendition of “Zamane ko Bida Kar De..” .Soniye Mil Jaa shows you Vinay Pathak can dance as well and he is hilarious and as usual Sukhwinder Singh does the job perfectly. The Laila Majnu sequence song “Koi Patthar se naa Mare” is just an add to the soundtrack because the musical needs it, but doesn’t add to the quality. Is Pal and Ishq Hua are both duets by Sonu Nigam and Shreya Ghosal which can be effectively recycled across any Yashraj flick. Not meaning that the songs were any bad, but well, weren’t integral or great either, and somehow I can’t remember which one was which.

The performances from the ensemble characters could have been much better, but it is too much to expect, is it? Konkona Sen is an actor of a different league and she didn’t do justice to her caliber. Kunal Kapoor looks and plays the stud he is, but well, that’s it. The love chemistry between the play’s lead pair, just didn’t work for me. Vinay Pathak as usual, brings the 9 inch smile whenever he gets the screentime, and Ranbir Shourie as Mohan,CEO of Mohan Hotel is perfect as the real Majnu/Devdas. Akshaye Khanna’s role is just limited to a few conversations but somehow he manages to pull it off. Divya Dutta and Irrfan Khan have again put up roles shorter than what deserves their potential, and still managed to shine. Raghuvir Yadav, love his unchoreographed dance and unscripted acting. But of course the movie belongs to Madhuri.

Madhuri sizzles and takes control of the entire movie and it wouldn’t be wrong to say that everybody else was just a member of a supporting cast. She can shake that leg far better than any actress we have today (I know I’m repeating myself over and over again), she can act better than any actress today, and well, she looks as pretty as ever. True that the role has been written keeping her in mind. Beat this! An uncle, probably in his 60s, says while he walks out of the theatre “15 saal pehle Dhak Dhak ki Dhadkan abhi tak nahi gayee” (I saw her Dhak Dhak 15 years ago, and I still feel the pulse).

While I’d give this movie 2 stars out of 5, add another one coz a Star is already there. Madhuri did "Show her Jalwa".

I have "Ajab Si" playing in a loop for the 16th time now on my Creative 5.1 and no,I am not exaggerating. As I sit down to write on the movie Om Shanti Om, all I can remember is the ethereal eyes, the strategically placed dimple, the Goddess like smile and the beauty we all know by the name of Deepika Padukone. She has arrived and Bollywood,stand up and take notice. I went to see this movie not because of the much talked about sculpted physique of SRK, nor for the 31 guest starred Title Track, nor for Farah Khan's directorial skills. I went for only one reason-pretty obvious one, you do the math, my hormones are all over the place!! I paid 59 bucks for the ticket and I swear, the first glance made it all even-stevens and every scene that followed was a Diwali Bumper Lottery for me, which was striking the Jackpot and made me feel I was Gladstone eh! Take the scene when she lifts the veil, and my jaw dropped on the floor and all I could speak out was "FISHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" ( which is a jargon we used to say in our college, in lieu of the other famous F word, you know..).
Deepika is Vyjantimala meets the Diwali Pathaka-Cover South Indian beauty meets Vogue and Ralph Lauren meets non-plastic Aishwarya meets each and every friggin beautiful lady who knocks your socks off. It is like listening to Master of Puppets for the first time, except this one's heavier in a completely different way. OMFG!!! I am emotionally drained and I think I'm in love again. Last time was when I saw Malena, and the time before that was when I saw La Isla Bonita performed by Alizee. That's a different story.

The story here is Om Shanti Om. Farah Khan's second directorial venture comes from her own writing desk, but is a straight rip-off/tribute( whatever) to the Subhash Ghai retro-reincarnation magnum opus KARZ. We even get to see some reels of Rishi Kapoor in the original Om Shanti Om song. Only that, Simi Garewal is Arjun Rampal(they both share the same hairstyle,I swear) and SRK and Deepika play Rishi Kapoor(It takes two to fill a Kapoor's shoe-Quote of the Day).There's no Tina Munim Ambani here, yeah but a Ghai cameo indeed.The story begins in the late 70-early 80s era of Bollywood. I think Farah has a strong inclination to the era of Jawanee Diwanee, the bobby prints, the huge wigs, the badminton courts with white pants and pink salwars, and of course Extra Large Collars for extra protection( I donno from what!).The entire retro look could have been done much better which at parts was feeling like pieces of make up peeling off from a Ramsay flick Heroine. But then, all in all the special effects made it all up. The Sunil Dutt-Rajesh Khanna-Jeetendra morphed song was absolutely brilliant( reminded me of the first time I saw Forrest Gump). The lookalike party was ewww for me coz it freaks me out everytime to see a fake Dev Anand.( I mean one is enough,..I mean there can be only one Dev Anand, respect Dev Saab!!! )
I really don't know if making a Bollywood movie is as dysfunctional as it was shown here. You know the kind where the Director is dragged along and is manipulated by the Producer and probably a famous Lead Actor/Actress. SRK does a pretty well job, but hey! he has overdone it. I mean the gym regime. And it all shows on his face. He looks 10 years older, which means he looks 50. The abs are perfect no doubt! Coming back to the special effects, picture perfect. The fire sequences are one of the never seen before scenes in Bollywood and have been handled pretty amazingly. The art direction is also very commendable. The retro studio feel, the chandeliers , the stairs and all the candles shouted one and only one point ie. this is the Diwali movie of the year. And this is similar to the Thanksgivin' season of Movie releases in Hollywood. You know this is our LOTR. We got it all. The perfect masala in full throttle bay beh. Farah Khan knows how to do it just right. If it's masala, we make it Yummy. Featuring the biggest Guest Appearance Song with stars from the retro league to the now-Bollywood-A-league and well the sub-junior league comprising of Dino,Arbaaz,Aftab,Amrita,Malaika et al.
P.S.Shilpa Shetty is WHOA!!! TNT.

Om Shanti Om intelligently makes a spoofy-tribute to the different genres of Indian filmmaking.Be it Quickgun Murugun-the Rajni-isque Cowboy who's tag line is -Mind It(thhh)! or the Sindoor dialogue, ,the Red Chaddi Mohabbat Man,the overacting, melodramatic mother-Kirron Kher , the rhyming acceptance speech or even the "tharkee" Producer.The mock Filmfare Award thing was a riot of laughter for the batch of girls who were sitting next to me who fainted just at the glimpse of AB Jr. Another thing worth mentioning is the RING inspired scene, when Deepika is busy combing her hair.That was awesome!!!LOL. I LOVED IT. ABSO-FRIGGIN-LUTELY.
The music just uplifts me everytime I listen to it. Trivia time: Pyarelal of Laxmikant Pyarelal has done the arrangement of the Dhoom Tana Song in a very 80'ish style.You know the Sridevi in an Apsara costume with Jeetendra in his yellow pants and lots of Sarees and Pots and huge percussions kind of arrangement where you need 120 strings to play simultaneously when Sridevi 's chin touchers Jeetendra's chin. Dhoom Tana takes you to that era and it still doesn't feel out of the place. Dastaan-e-Om Shanti Om sung by Shaan is very very-Ek Hasina Thi. The recap song with the musical flashback. The background score by Sandeep Chowta is brilliant. The bass rhythm on this song is very heavy.\m/ .Jaag Soona Soona by Rahat Fateh and Richa Sharma is a sufi-isque song which is pretty decent, a good song individually, but then when the entire soundtrack is so brilliant, this qualifies as the out of focus song which everyone won't remember after the movie.Dard-e-Disco is signature Sukhwinder. The Deewangi-guest Item song is just one of those run-of-the-mill Bollywood bhangra songs you hear a DJ playing now and then and is just average. NOW READ CAREFULLY. While Ajab Si would remain my favorite track in the movie for the sole reason of where this song is featured, my vote for the best song of the album goes to Main Aggar Kahoo by Sonu Nigam and Shreya Ghoshal. What a track!! Sonu takes the entire soundtrack to a level best described as zenith.That's it.
Finally,Ajab Si interestingly doesn't start( both the times) from the Mukhda. It begins with ..."Aayee aisi Raat Hai Jo bahut Khushnaseeb Hai..." in the first half and in the second half it begins with "...Tere Saath Saath aisa..koi Nuur aaya hai", and both are the intro songs of Deepika ( the rebirth thing, yeeah!). KK does a very good job and he could land up winning the Filmfare for this finally.The lyrics by Vishal is heartfelt and inspiring, as in he is the lead vocalist of Pentagram and he wrote Ajab Si-WHOA!!!

Now as I (am expecting to)recover slowly from the Deepika fever in the next few days, I can only say this. FORGET SAAWARIYA.I haven't seen it and I don't even care to give it a glance. This is the Diwali movie of the year by all means. Grab your popcorn because this reminds you what it used to be like being at the movies. SRK still rules at this age. DDLJ was released in 1995,12 years back and the girls still love him!! And Deepika,aaah!!!Sigh!
She came, I saw, she conquered.

FIN!

Jab We Met-what a silly title!- what a cool movie!Fast, heartfelt, sincere and real dialogues, no fake melodramas and wonderful. Shahid and Kareena really make it work. But much of the credit goes to the el-capitano Dir:Imitaz Ali who has infused the movie with the dew freshness ( I wish Fa was one of the sponsors and they had a shower scene..lol) which is hardly seen in Bollywood romance.It is finally done. Shahid Kapoor and Kareena Kapoor never looked "the Made for each other" couple until this movie happened. Trust me, it's written in stone now. It is a brilliant follow up to Diro Imtiaz Ali's bubbly and fresh romantic film-Socha Na Tha, which I loved and you know what,this one's even better.
The story is pretty predictable, the sequences and dialogues aren't, in a very good way. The story gives me a kind of dejavu' of earlier forgotten flicks like the Abhi-Ash bummer "Dhai Akshar Prem Ke" which was inspired from "A Walk in the Clouds", and well, the Govinda Urmilla starrer-Kunwara. It somehow also reminded me of the recent Cameron Crowe film"Elizabethtown" in a very special way. Uncanny!! But yeah, I started comparing Kareena with Kirsten Dunst and she ended up doing a pretty good job. Full of life,zeal and enthusiasm and equally childish-childlike ideas. Kareena is brilliant as the big mouth,no-brainer chic(no offense), is absolutely credible and fun to watch. The story is of Aditya (Shahid), son of a late business tycoon,who's entire business empire starts to fall because of his father's demise, and his girlfriend dumps him to get married to someone else. Frustrated by life, Aditya steps into a random train, and sets off aimlessly, attempting suicide and saved by Geet(Kareena). What happens next is a journey that brings Aditya and Geet closer and in the process, Aditya finds a new life and hope in it. Aditya goes on with Geet to Bhatinda, only to be confused as his boyfriend and this results in a whole bunch of confusion which occupies the entire movie. But its fun right!
Some portions could be omitted easily, and I did feel the drag in the second half . I mean,it was going great,dude! what just happened. But the final act catches up again and we are back in the game. Throw in some real groovy Bhangra number-Nagara..and we are swaying to it. Yeah, but they could have done without the Shaan -road travel song. I mean, they could have just made it play in the background. The entire script just comes to a halt when you make the lead lipsync after that fast-paced real talk. I really haven't seen a Bollywood flick in a long time it seems!
All's well in the end and the Hero gets his HEROINe....hahaha GOTCHA. Hehe. And add to that, the spice of the item song.Mauja Mauja! Mika yeah! You say Mika-who? The one who kissed-forget it. This one's really great and I was tapping my feet throughout this number. Awesome Pritam!!! But is it another arabic song inspirado result? One question though-Why can't you just reduce a few item girls in the Mauja Mauja song, and well shoot a real Taxi Drive Outdoor Scene or a real Night Train on the tracks scene,instead of using Hot Friggin Wheel Models. I was really pissed off. Reminded me of the Turning Brain-I mean,the Burning Train!!

All in all, what you take back home is some very well written lines, and excellent scenes,perfectly executed by the Kapoor duo. Especially Shahid who has come of age. He has come a long way from Ishk Vishk to Jab We Met. Bravo. 3.5 on 5!!!

Movie Reviews of Movies I missed: For all the reasons

GO:
Okay what's the deal with short names in Hindi Movies. That too attached with some kinda actions. Take Daud,Run and now the recent bomber at the B.O.-GO. What is the tiny-winy thing that relates all of them?They all suck, equally in every degree possible.While RGV's Daud was enjoyable in parts which revealed Sanjay Dutt's characters name in the movie was Daya-Parvati, and Urmila's was UmaShanker.
Coming back to GO-its got someone called Gautam as the male lead,if you may say so,flexing his muscles and trying to fill each frame with more stunts than the amazing videos you get to see on Youtube. Nisha Kothari as the female lead, shows more skin than a green viper shedding on Animal Planet(both are equally fascinating in their own rights and well the latter gets more viewership). Story-Yeah,right. Another one of those 1950-60-70-80-ish cheap Bollywood flicks from Factory right in the year 2007. Is time being bent or RGV has something missing in his cranium?
What would I prefer to see instead: Any of the Ramsay Bros flicks. The music is class, the female leads have no problem shedding their saris even if they have been fighting a losing battle against obesity. (There exists a word in Webster's for this league of Actresses-Power thighs). And yeah, there is Shakti Kapoor.


Factoid: When India TV was launched it had Tarun 'Tehelka' Tejpal in the editorial team, and among others, Nalini Singh and Menaka Gandhi too, until Shakti Kapoor happened. That's how you screw it all up.

What would I prefer to see instead: Any Late Night show on India TV.



What would I prefer to see instead: Anything but Rakhi Sawant.


What would I prefer to see instead: Kambaqht Ishq ,Khallas and Dilbara Dilbara(the song from Dhoom, yeah the one which has a lot of Esha..if you know..I know you know)

Ok here's the difference. Immad is "impotent"(well, in his speech,ie). Yes,I have not recovered from the trauma of Dil,Dosti excreta..!!!!And Mr.Naseeruddin Shah, his father, kicks serious ass. Coming back to the movie "review" or whatever, Monsoon Wedding goes down in my list as one of my hot favs. Absolutely no second thoughts. I have seen Mira Nair's other works such as Namesake, KamaSutra(for obvious reasons), and Salaam Bombay.
While Salaam Bombay remains a huge milestone in Indian cinema, it doesn't leave me as moved (read Jubilant,infectiously Celebrating,exuberant and Joyous,all in the same breath).It is difficult to write something limited of a movie that spans across all cultures,and brings together all cliche's attached to "Indian" cinema as seen by the firangs(u know ,the colors, the music and the singing routine) in a very respectable way, and simultaneously deals with intense elements of child abuse, pre arranged marital infidelity,growing old and (non)settled NRI housewives and their puttars and betis with the tag of confusion of being an ABCD...or a Muscat born whatever...phew!!!
And then you have the Event manager-wedding producer of Old Delhi and his love ,the maid who knows what an email ID is and has a name taken from the pages of Lewis Carol. Whoa! Monsoon Wedding , or Matrimonia Indiano( as it is known in Italy),has it ALL. And I love them all, from the minutest of the details that Ms Nair has put together with a brilliant ensemble cast that comprises of someone as versatile as Lilette Dubey as Mrs.Pimmi Verma,cigarette smoking-hair-curling-nervous mother of the bride, Shefali Chaya as the unmarried elder cousin Ria Verma,Parvin Dabas as the IIT alumni-Softie Export settled in Houston,Vasundhara in one of her most major roles as D-Bride (wont say a word more about here,c'mon she has already faced so much)and (in his debut)Randeep Hooda as the Muscat raised guy who dreams of Hot Indian girls.

2. "Tej bhaisaab" became synonymous to being a pedophile, so much that we still laugh at a friend who is called Tej.Well, we treat him with some respect you see. Brilliant Job Mr.Rajat Kapoor.
3.The obtuse-angled auntie/dadeejee in white sari grooving to Chunari Chunari.Now that's called Freaking out Bay-Beh!!!
4.Naseeruddin Shah is the greatest actor of Indian cinema.Give him the Oscar,the Golden Globes, the Golden Lion, the Golden Unicorn, damn it!!

The drenched city of Delhi also somehow blends so smoothly into the color of the movie or rather adds to the glory of it. The hustle and bustle of Chandni Chowk's Saari Bazaar, to the rickshaws and CP, to huge painted posters of Hindi Movies have been captured brilliantly. Not only does Ms Nair show this part of Delhi, but she also narrates through her characters,how globalisation has transformed us.Elements like becoming cellphone addicts,fast food, sexual freedom and all the other manifestations of the new global American culture ,Cosmopolitan mags, tattoos and well democratic chat shows like"Delhi.com"

***BING***BING***BING***ALERT
Delhi.com is one of the other points to be noted which I forgot to mention, for obvious reasons-The top dubbist Shivanita Lakhia..Bade Ladke..ROTFL

Rarely do we find a movie that brings all the chaos and components which are so cluttered, yet tied to a very sensitive string called family. I wish the KOFFEE guy could understand that family movies are not made with chiffon saris and song sequences in London or Switzerland or mansions hanging crystal chandeliers.
Most importantly, Monsoon Wedding infuses in me a feeling of TRIUMPH and well an infectious urge to dance, of course thanks to Sukhwinder Singh for Kawa Kawa, Anu Malik (singers Abhijit and Anuradha Sriram) for the hot hot number Chunari Chunari, and well Hans Raj pajee and Bally Sagoo for Aaja Nachle. Simply LIBERATING!!!!

Naseeruddin Shah is the BEST! Likhwa Lo. I mean, maine Likh Diya.And Hollywood,please don't consider him for movies where he has to play a bloody bearded thick-accented Maharaja called Captain Nemo. Bollywood tum khush raho!

I watched Jenna Jameson and Tera Patrick being banged to cleanse myself from the trauma and disturbia that left me numb for the 45 odd minutes I spent at the theatre watching Manish Tiwary's Dil Dosti etc. This is a movie which has left me disturbed to the core, more than ever.Of course, can't promise that this tops my worst movies list, but well it might qualify as a very strong contender. Immad Shah(Naseeruddin Shah's son) plays Apurv with a deadpan look throughout and a speech style which can be best expressed as "impotent". Wonder how's he gonna complete the hat-trick he keeps talking about.Forget talking about comparisons, because we know how good an actor Mr.Shah Senior is. I am talking about an individual performance and to be precise, it sucked more than a Black Hole (as in the Black Hole, not the one you are imagining.Of course, all you can imagine after this movie is what you are thinking of.) What has happened to Smriti Mishra? As my friend puts it,"One of the most disturbing scenes on celluloid is the frame of the prostitute with the sagging belly". And well I have a word for it-Eww!! Isshitta Sharma (more famous in our circle as Preeti Patel from Loins of Punjab) disappoints as the school girl who is confused whether she wants to or not to get laid, or well I don't really care what is the confusion. Shreyas Talpade as Sanjay Mishra, the future politician from Bihar is a complete misfit in the ensemble.

The synopsis at IMDb for this movie reads: Dil Dosti Etc is a fresh, unabashed, no holds barred look at how young men of today think and choose to live their lives.
My take: Mr.Tiwary and Mr.Prakash Jha ,get a grip and hold on to your lives first. Focus. Please just dont excrete on the celluloid and give it a title.

Regrets: I am not gonna get those 45 minutes of my life.
Watch it if you are emotionally blackmailed or if Preeti Patel is your fiance'.

Neons,Red neons, Yellow Milestones, Pune Railway Station,Lancers, maroon Maruti 800, Bombay-Pune Highway,more Neons and UV Lights in da Club, no Bling Bling, only CASH and Bam Bam. Phew!! What a ride!!Johnny Gaddar is ..wait for it...the Best Hindi movie of its genre. Should I say that again or was I loud enough to make my point clear? ADLABS presents, ...Sriram Raghavan's...and then Boom. The title credits are absolutely a thing to watch and watch out for. Awesome is the Word..or is it Legendary. Ok, I should come out of the Barney-shell and just tell you more about the movie and why I loved it.
Reason 1: Solely for the title credits which is a huge tribute in its own right to all the 60's and 70's thrillers, especially ( and well clearly mentioned too) to Vijay Anand's works from Johnny Mera Naam( from which the movie's title has been taken) to Jewel Thief . I definitely felt that Mr.Raghavan always wanted to pay a kind of homage to them, and what rightfully done!!
In scenes like, Rimi Sen reading R.K.Narayan's 'Guide'( made into a film by Vijay Anand) or well, Vikram, the protagonist who is a big Big-B fan, watches Parwana (may be for his influences eh!) to Johnny Mera Naam. Well,there are other trivial stuff too which would soon make their way on the trivia list of IMDb like, while Shiva is being called the first time, he is watching Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut. The movie also brings back the genre of "Kaun-Kaise-Kaha-Kyun" in a very crisply done script just like taken from the pages of " James Hadley Chase".
Reason 2: This is not a Who-Dun-it? It is more of how did he-when did he-kinda flick, and it continously kept me( and also all the people at the theatre) at the edge of my seat and made me wonder, about what next?It made me think and think, and hold on to the chair tight, made me wanna kick the guy sitting in front of me talking over the phone, cause I was sensing the air of suspense and was totaly gripped by the claws of this reel-o-magic.
Reason 3: The entire cast,from the mastermind of the "plan-A" Seshadri (Dharmendra) to Prakash a.k.a Pakya(Vinay Pathak) to the very briefly kept Twinkle a.k.a Mrs.Shardul (Rimi Sen),everyone has been able to pull off exactly what the film expected them to. Debutante Neil Mukesh as Vikram a.k.a Johnny G is a discovery. He is not just plain wood as the other six-packs,sculpted physique league of bloody ordinary gentlemen are, but makes his presence felt throughout and has been absolutely successful in making the character of Johnny Gaddar come to life. Johnny isnt a strong guy, he is a smart guy. He has his weaknesses and he is scared of the bigger and stronger Cons. But his smartness,his luck and his perfect timing makes his Plan-B work. And Neil makes us believe that he IS Johnny while he deceives and betrays everyone. Last but not the Least, Zakir Hussain as Shardul is absolutely brilliant and Ashwini Kalsekar as Mrs.Pakya a.k.a Beauty Parlor is the icing on the Cake. Go watch the movie to find out why.
Reason 4: The movie includes PUNE. Yippeee. From Pune Station to MG Road, to glimpses of Magnum Mall and Bombay Garage(was it?) . Woo hoo. I loved it.

Reason 5: all of the ABOVE and even more. Johnny G offered me a slice of Tarantino even in vernacular. Especially the scene when Shardul is being hit and falls down back-first on his glass center table. Kill Bill revisted. Woohoo. What I liked most about the movie besides the Title Credits, is the pace at which the movie carried on. There are no extras or fillers or any element of Priyadarshan or RGV ki Aag. I have watched Mr.Raghavan's previous flick "Ek Hasina Thi" and I thought it was a good movie. Johnny G just surpasses all the expectations I had. It is a brilliantly made movie in all aspects, from the sets to the script to the action chodeography to the fast paced editing to the jaw-dropping fast cinematography which captures the closed Train Toilets to the dim-lit compartments as brilliantly as the crowded dance floor of Club Escape or the intense nightmare mood of Vikram's apartment.Shankar-Ehsan-Loy's score is set to set the mood of the movie and it does it well. Just well enough. But it is a bit too loud at times, or perhaps I am too claustrophobic for closed club Sounds.
Complaints: Only complaints are that it is a rated-A movie. So well, besides the Bam-Bam and the Dhishum Dhishum, I wanted some Muah-Muah too. Not that the movie did not have any scope for it. Rimi and Neil could have had a moment . Friggin!!!!! Just when you thought that it was flawless, my hormones popped-out. LOL.
Need I say more. A word more spoken and I would start sounding like I have been paid for the publicity of this movie. Go watch it and you will and shall LOVE it.
3.5 out of 5.

Loins of Punjab Presents is a riot of laughter through and through. Abso-Friggin-Lutely Hilarious. It is a beautiful ensemble piece,yet a very disorganised one jumbled together like a mismatched jigsaw puzzle which only starts taking shape and form as the story unfolds. The pieces here are equally colorful and hilarious in their own way.
To begin with ,the organisers and the title sponsors of the main event . Loins of Punjab is an organisation which has been run by an NRI who made it big in the US by well selling pork loins. They happen to be the title sponsors of a Talent hunt contest (like the many that we see on TV these days, yet very different) and the event management company that handles the event is Bokade Mgmt Company, run by a certain Mr.Bokade who believes Gypsy Kings turn women horny.
The talent hunt is the search for a Desi Idol , the songs would be only in Hindi, and the grand prize is a handsome 25G. The contestants: Preeti Patel & the Patel Squad. Needless to mention here how the Gujjus enjoy their Theplas and self packed Dhoklas EVERYWHERE. They sure know how to have a Good Time and well bargain at that too. Next in Line is a White Guy , Joseph Cohen who loves everything Indian including his girlfriend Opam ( Ayesha Dharkar).
There's also the high society ,stiff upper lip and envious Mrs. Rrita Kapoor ( Shabana Azmi) who wants to win the competition just to win the prize and donate it to some women fundraiser( you know , high society show offs). There's a Business Analyst, Vikram Tejwani (played by the Director Manish Acharya ) who talks in numbers and well his love interest eventually, Sania Rehman who pretends to know Hindi, a guy who got fired for his name being Saddam Hussein, and to top it all, Ajay Naidu as the Turbanotorious B.D.G. , the Bhangra King raplord.
I can just go on praising about this character, but its better to just say , BRILLIANT. B.D.G.s intro happens in a open mic night when he comes up with his partner, with the turban on, and in typical Yo-Hip-Hop-Hustle Style shows some Respecc to his Fols, Mummy-G and Papa-G and begins his rap with Yo-MadaF@#$ and F@#$ U ***. You get it. I was roaring with laughter.
Well, I had not seen any promos of the movie whatsoever and to be frank did not have any sort of expectations with the movie. But well, I was bursting out with laughter in the very first 2 minutes of the movie and it continued till the end credits. To say that the movie was funny would be an understatement.
Debutante Director Manish Acharya has done a very commendable job and dealt with extreme expertise handling the mad cast of the movie and has made every inch of the movie whacky and whackier without resorting to cheap slapstick humor.
I have seen a lot of these Indy-Indie Humor Flicks on ABCDs and NRIs. But this is by far the best.The jokes are a take on post 9-11 America, the ethnic backgrounds that comprise of the brown population of New Jersey, the Gay Fashion Desginers, the Gay-Brown-Bhangra-Pop Guy singing Khoon Kharaaba, the elite Socialites and to top it all how the National Anthem binds us all ,no matter what. I guess I haven't had such a good laugh since Khosla ka Ghosla .Loins of Punjab Presents is a wholesome entertainer, but well do mind the A-Rating. From me its 3.5 stars. BRAVO.